5 Valid Reasons To Leave Your Church.

A common question many people have is if they should leave their Church or not. Without a doubt can be a heartbreaking and also relieving question to ask if it’s time to step away from a congregation. However, I think the real question that needs to be asked is why someone wants to leave their Church. Recent studies have been done on why members leave their church congregation. Common reasons stem from offensive moments, dry teachings, leadership falling into sin, and many other reasons that suddenly cause a community member to leave.

While some of these listed reasons may be valid to some people, leaving a church is a big decision. If you spend 10 years or 10 days in a particular congregation, Christians always wonder if they are making the right decision by choosing to leave. Today’s blog post will cover 5 clear signs to identify if it’s necessary to leave your Church.

1. Unrepentant of Their Sin 

“Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.”

2 Corinthians 7:10

Whose sin? The pastor, the elder, or the deacon? Is there a specific person we are talking about in the Church? The answer is the Church itself and how the body of Christ operates in their daily activities. When a person sins in the body, specifically in a leadership role, most members don’t realize it affects the entire congregation. We have fallen short of the glory of God, but sin still has a destructive impact on the person and everyone surrounding them.

So, a congregation dealing with a sinful act of leadership or well-known members must take action during the event. If people are fornicating in the ministry, if adultery is involved, if anything immoral is going on that is affecting God’s sheep, it is the responsibility of the Pastor or Leader to take considerable action in the situation. If someone needs to be removed from a position, forced to step down, or no longer involved in what they were being used in the Church, it may be necessary.

Passivity does not fly well in the Church; when pastors or leaders try to cover up their tracks on sin entering the Church, it will come back to haunt them (See Ephesians 5:11-14). So a starting breaking point answer it is moral to leave your Church or not comes down to if your Church is allowing sin to consume the congregation and taking no action or responsibility.

2. Not Speaking Biblically Sound Doctrine.

“For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.”

– 2 Timothy 4:3-4

One deceptive issue with some churches today is what is being spoken in the pulpit. The destructive side of the Gospel being preached is the different opinions and interpretations that many churches and ministries talk to their members in the congregation. The big question that may be asked is how can I tell if my Church is speaking false teachings? The Bible, of course, is the blueprint for what is true and what isn’t, but it can be apparent that the scriptures can be twisted with the wrong meaning.

If you are in a church that is preaching unsound doctrine, it all comes down to one thing: “the fruit.” What do the actions of the Church look like? Are there messages about condemning sin but also ignoring it? Is your pastor the salt of the earth or sugar? The purpose of the Gospel is to draw people to Jesus, the living water. If we think of how salt works, it gives someone thirst to consume a liquid. While sugar has a different effect, it makes someone want to consume where the sugar is coming from and not turn to anything else. What the Church speaks is meant to bring people closer to God, not closer to the world. A church preaching false doctrine will show by the destruction it will slowly cause to the ministry trying to grow spiritually.

The best advice if you are debating whether to leave your Church is if they are not speaking biblical truth. Identify the fruits of the leadership and how they approach what they say. Some believers have a hard time interrupting what is not from God; most things that are not from God do not produce good fruit. If your Church’s words lead to sin, confusion, division, or anything affecting your wisdom, it may not be from God.

3. Victim of Abuse.

“A man of wrath stirs up strife, and one given to anger causes much transgression.”

– Proverbs 29:22

One thing that should not be tolerated in any ministry is some form of abuse. Abuse is a demonic activity meant to bring long-term traumatic effects to anyone who experiences it, whether on a physical or emotional level. Some of the most deceptive secrets in a church are the abuse leaders or other members put on certain innocent victims, especially young children. What makes a form of abuse destructive is once it occurs, there is no stopping it. As long as the victim and abuser continue to find themselves in a vulnerable position, it will continue to allow the abusive behavior to occur.

To stop abuse from continuing by an abuser, you have to remove the resource of their abuse. In so many words, if you are in a scenario where you or a loved one are facing narcissistic abuse from someone in your Church, leaving may be the only consideration. However, what is tricky about these certain circumstances is some people may not realize they are getting abused but are feeling the effects of it. Sometimes it is important to talk to someone who is also a member of the Church, a close friend, or someone with a mature mindset who can help respond to this case properly. Yes, it is essential to report someone secretly abusing you in the Church, no matter their position and influence.

Determining if someone should leave their Church due to abuse comes down to the response of leadership and vulnerability. A good example is, let’s say, someone gets sexually molested in a congregation, and the administration responds by hearing the side of the abuser but fails to take action and, in so many words, sides with the narcissist for religious reasons. Victims usually fall into a deep trap of confusion and wonder if what they are experiencing is valid. This is a form of gaslighting and a tactic the devil brings to destroy a church and the people in it completely. If your story is not being heard by leadership, especially if there is evidence, leaving this Church may be necessary and starting somewhere fresh.

Situations like this can profoundly impact your salvation and it can be easy to become bitter and not want to attend any church. My advice is do not to give up on God; he is not the person who put you through that abuse but is the one who, yes, saw it happen and has a divine plan to restore you from that traumatic experience. Trust in the Lord and follow his recovery plan.

4. No Forgiveness 

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

– Ephesians 4:31-32

A church that is destroyed is a church that doesn’t forgive. When members of the Church find themselves stuck in the division, leadership needs to identify the issue with forgiveness as the primary solution. The harsh reality about most churches, no matter the size or shape, is the congregation may be stuck to the bondage of unforgiveness and may not even realize it.

There will be some troubling times in the body of Christ, and the enemy’s ultimate goal is to keep a church trapped in the most painful moments. If your pastor falls, a member gossips, or someone does something unspeakable; as mentioned in previous points, necessary actions must be taken. Still, it’s not about firing a staff member or pausing a ministry. It’s about recovering from those moments spiritually that keeps the Church in covenant with God.

I am simply saying that a church holding an unforgiveness against their pastor or a toxic member will show by anointing the house of God. I have seen ministries that were once on fire for God go downhill because one pastor or leader made a mistake, and everyone in the congregation held it against them. It can be tragic if something traumatic or deceptive happens in your Church, but how they respond to forgiveness will determine if you should stay.

5. Living for the World Instead of Christ. 

“So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.”

-Revelation 3:16

A non-negotiable when it comes to attending a church is a lukewarm community. We can all agree that no church is perfect, no matter the size or attendance, but what mattered more to Jesus was the culture that was being presented. Any pastor reading this must know the Lord is holding you responsible for his sheep. The most significant responsibility for any pastor is what culture he brings into his congregation.

This leads to the biggest sign that it may be time to leave your Church if there is a lukewarm environment. Jesus did not stand well with neither a hot or cold church. In Revelation 3 when he speaks to the Church of Lacedonia, he makes the leading judgment that the Church is not living for him but for the world. A lukewarm church is a church that embraces material culture in its congregation.

No church is perfect, but any congregation’s main requirement is living righteously. So if you believe you are in a lukewarm environment, it may be time to consider leaving a church. A lukewarm church will not have a passion for the Gospel or anything that glorifies Christ, and if you want more clarification, think of a congregation that lives by the flesh and not by the spirit.

Final Statement

Leaving a church can be really hard, and the toughest part is trying to figure out where to start once you do leave. If you want to go through a fresh start in your Christian walk but not sure where to turn feel free to check out Jesus Cares. Jesus Cares is an online platform that gives someone who is hurting a chance to speak to someone who cares and is willing to come into agreement and pray with you. One benefit that they can offer is help you find another church in your area and connect you in the right direction. Check out Jesuscares.com and get connected today.